Below is my column in today's issue of the Grand Haven Tribune. You can also access it on their website online here.
One of the greatest gifts to me during this pandemic, as a priest, has been the kindness and support of my parishioners.
Like many pastors (and many of you your own fields, for that matter), since things closed in March, I have been learning countless new skills for which I was not trained in seminary. I now understand how to read data on epidemic spread. I know what the “r naught” factor is and how that helps me understand the spread of a virus. I have learned how to run streaming software, what a streaming key is, how to adjust sound on a soundboard so that what is heard inside the church and on the stream is different. Most importantly, I’ve learned that all my plans must be tentative and I need to be able to quickly adapt to new situations and ways of doing church.
I have also had to learn to be gentler with myself. I tend to hold the world, the church, and my own work to pretty high standards (I’m an Enneagram One, if you are familiar with that typology). That means I try to plan carefully to ensure everything goes exactly the way it should go. However, implementing technology for streaming worship at home… and then at the church… and then outside the church, while also finding ways for my members to virtually connect has meant that it takes quite a while before a liturgy or church offering feels as seamless as I would like it to be.
Like all of us, I’m faced with the fact that sometimes there is no easy and good answer to the problems facing us. What sorts of restrictions will provide sufficient risk mitigation to enable ministry to continue? How much handwashing or sanitizer is needed? When worshipping outside, how essential are masks and how do I best ensure people feel connected to one another even while socially-distancing? Not being able to find exact and definite answers, for someone like me, is tremendously difficult.
And after all the hard work is put in, when I still cannot get the streaming software to work on a Sunday morning, or when I cancel a decision to start allowing in-person attendance at worship in the building, or when I accidentally curse under my breath (not realizing my mic is still hot) during the Great Vigil of Easter… in all of these experiences, my parishioners at St. John’s have been nothing but supportive, forgiving, and full of encouragement and mercy.
My own parishioners know I’m trying my hardest and that our volunteers are trying their hardest. They know that while we may disagree on a host of questions related to this pandemic, in the end decisions must be made with imperfect information. They know that sometimes we must choose between a bad decision and a seemingly equally bad decision, trying to mitigate risk as best as we can. They continue to provide honest, clear, and helpful feedback, but always in a way that is supportive and full of love.
Though each congregational context differs, I know from my friendships with several other pastors in the area that they are feeling the same stresses and struggles that I am—if not more. And my heart breaks at the criticisms some of them have received, people who have left their churches angrily, with hurtful words directed at a pastor who is trying so very hard to be faithful to God and their membership during a global pandemic.
A study by the Barna Group from late May found that nearly 70% of pastors feel overwhelmed by their vocation during this pandemic. One-in-five has frequently felt lonely. In 2016, two thirds of pastors felt more confident in their calling than when they entered ministry, now that number has dropped to less than one-third. Given how much more difficult things have become in the world and in the church since late May, I would imagine those numbers are not much better now. In fact, they are likely worse.
So, what I want to say is this. If you are a church-going person, try to go easy on your pastor in these months ahead. Things will likely get more difficult for us all as the weather gets colder. With school re-openings and more people spending time together, infection rates are starting to climb once more, presenting us all with hard decisions.
Don’t get me wrong. Give your pastor your honest feedback. Let them know how your church can help you grow in this difficult time. But try to do it in a way that is seasoned with love, mercy, and grace. Let your pastor know, even when they make a decision you disagree with (particularly when they make a decision you disagree with), that you will continue to pray for their leadership, that your support is not dependent upon perfection.
There are also some ways you can be helpful to your likely already burdened and worn-out pastor. Insist they take their vacation time, even if that means the quality of the church stream or the outdoor worship might suffer for a week. Insist they have at least one sabbath day for family. Encourage them not to take their work home, but to make time for recreation and family. Let them know that you know everything cannot be perfect—but that what you want most importantly is for your pastor to be healthy, connected to God and the church, and able to offer up the best they have to God’s work in this world.
The people at my parish have been amazing in all of these regards and it has made all the difference. I’m definitely still worn out at times. I get overwhelmed or depressed about the prospect of how long it will be before I can experience the robustness of church as it is meant to be. Their kindness and support, however, has made all the difference. Your kindness and support to your pastor will mean the world to them, too.
And if you’re not a churchgoing person? Well, this is a great time to look around. With so many streaming and outdoor options out there, you can safely begin to explore a faith community where you can thrive. And who knows, you might wind up being someone who feeds and nourishes your new pastor just as much as they nourish you.
The Rev. Dr. Jared C. Cramer, Tribune community columnist, serves as rector of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Grand Haven. Information about his parish can be found at www.sjegh.com.
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